First, let me start by saying that i have literally had 3 cokes today and am still about to die. When i mentioned this to a rather sassy co-worker of mine, she replied with, "oh, um, like, you know that coke just gives you a sugar high right? then you just crash. like, it's making you more tired." Like, yeah. i know the stats. However, she obviously doesn't know that if i had an IV attached to me at all times with coke in it, I would be beyond content. some of my best friends never even liked coke until they met me, and now they're going to have just as many teeth problems as me. to be perfectly honest with you, i don't know why I'm not the "face of coke" yet. like, instead of Santa on the can at Christmas time, it could be me in a little santa hat...because i think that if coke was ever in a sales lull, i could single hand-edly pull them out. just saying.
Ok, so the "snooze" button was invented by the meanest person on the planet. And they covered their mean-ness with the idea that you could always get "5 more minutes" every morning. Um yeah, when you get "5 more minutes" 6 times, it's gone beyond the point of being beneficial to your good health. It just ends up causing one of two things; you are either late and beyond all hope OR it sends you into a frenzied panic. A panic that causes you to cut corners while getting ready (and, therefore, cause your co-workers to deal with it all day), get an elevated body temperature that won't go down until lunch, and sprint out the door, realizing halfway to work that you've forgotten your lunch on the counter. Welcome to my wednesday, folks. (let me say...I think a large part of my misfortune today has to do with the fact that my BRILLIANT brother- please note heavy sarcasm- and a few friends decided to have a jam session that STARTED at 10:30 last night. we share a wall. lucky me).
Another point of discussion: silk flowers. ok, I'm pretty sure that my office building has stock in them. Everywhere you turn in that place, BAM, a big silk fern. WHOAH, a larger-than-the-lunch-table bouquet of silk lillies. HEY, silk ivy overload. they're everywhere. It's like the black plauge...every day, more and more artificial plants are sweeping the office. The thing is, do people think that others that see these are going to think, "oooh, what beautiful ivy! I wonder how they got that to grow indoors?" I wish that i could gingerly say, "um, ma'am? hi, yeah, nobody in their right mind buys that these flowers are real." Seriously. they're bad. i'm allergic.
Last point; clothes that are too tight. Um, I know that it may LOOK like i want to see every detail of your undergarments, but i really, TRULY do not. I'm not saying wear a tablecloth but come on. get it together, people. leave something to the imagination, for goodness sakes. Just wear something that fits. the world will spin much more smoothly if you do. scouts honor.
Au revoir, lovelies.
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