Wednesday, June 30, 2010

and so on and so forth...

I know that I have already had my rant about how much I despise heat, but I’m just going to start out by saying that humidity is of the Devil. My hair has not looked this bad this consistently since I cut my own bangs in the second grade (the growing out process was brutal, to say the least). There is no point to straightening it because it curls. There is no point in wearing it curly because, somehow, as I make the trek from my house to my car, it ends up looking like cotton candy. AND I look like Elmer Fudd when I pull my hair back. My options are to either look like I just rolled out of a dumpster OR have hair that looks like something that comes on a stick at the fair. Great.

So, I had to face one of my biggest fears on Sunday evening. Public speaking. I know that you see statistics that list public speaking as the #1 fear of people around the world and that death is like, #4 or #5. Crazy right? Wrong. I would literally rather die than get up and say something to a group of people. Big group, little group, friends, strangers –it doesn’t matter – I detest it. I get tunnel vision, I get shaky, my voice gets 10 octaves higher than what it normally is, my sentences are peppered with “umm” and “uhh,” and I can’t seem to catch my breath until about 10 minutes AFTER I’m done. It’s bad. Anyways. I got the amazing opportunity to help lead worship at my church for our evening service. I have done it before and absolutely love doing that, so I happily accepted (it’s weird; I can sing in front of 1,000,000,000 people and never miss a beat; ask me to say 3 words and you might as well shoot me). SO – I kind of had a mini meltdown (to myself, of course) but then decided that I had to be a big girl. Luckily, I didn’t stumble over my words, say something bad, or pass out (all of which are very likely possibilities). I was SURPRISINGLY very comfortable once I got started. Granted, my hands shook for the remainder of the worship set, but no matter…I’m just hoping that my bravery/ comfortableness wasn’t just a one-time thing…

Next on the docket; work. Ah, glorious work. There is nothing I love more than sorting mail and then stuffing envelopes, complete with licking the seal. Yum. What I love even more than that is having oodles of free time on my hands… the good news is, I get all of my writing assignments, online shopping, news and blog reading and facebook-ing ALL out of the way. I have also resorted to day-dreaming and playing games in my mind. It’s a real blast.

The last topic on this list only consists of one word. And I loathe it; diet. Carbohydrates, the very thing that I held near and dear to my heart only 2 short days ago, are now my enemy. And I’m not even going to pretend that I’m sweet when I am depriving my body of food, because the THOUGHT of being nice makes me hungry. I’m mean. That being said, some idiot brought banana nut bread to work this morning. Awesome. I had a delicious palm-full of cheerios instead…nothing is easy about this.
I suppose this brings us to the conclusion of today’s thoughts and events. Someone go shopping and remind me what it’s like, seeing as the last purchase I made was dog treats. Also, if someone would like to eat an entire loaf of bread for me, that would be greatly appreciated.

Bonne lecture, mes amis.

Friday, June 25, 2010

save, spend, repeat...

Yesterday I got an unexpected break from work. Being sick is never fun, although I'm not going to lie...I liked sleeping in. I sat up in my bed and went back and forth with myself for about 10 minutes, trying to debate whether or not I could/ should go into work. However, at the end of the 10 minutes, I decided that I should stay in, seeing as it would have been a real shame to toss my cookies on my desk... When I finally got my appetite back, yesterday was glorious. I met one of my best friends from high school for dinner at the best sushi establishment in the Ville, followed by frozen yogurt at my new favorite addiction, sweet cece's (I'm not sure that sushi and ice cream were the BEST choice for my fragile, easily-nauseated stomach, but whatevs..it was worth it). I can't decide if i enjoy Sweet CeCe's so much because of their product OR if its the fact that everything inside is pink and green and cute...either way, i'm obsessed. It's like a little cup full of happy.

Wednesday night was delightful (before the stomach wreching, of course) because I was delightfully entertained for 3 hours at the mall. It's my mothership of sorts. Now, with my newfound thrifty-ness, i had to think like a professional and be smart... The damage? 2 pairs of dressy-casual pants and an adorable blouse. Before you judge, let me just say that Banana was having a killer sale, and I made the purchase with my own money. that i earned. that was in my account...thank you very much.

Don't worry, my frugal-ness didn't last past the first level of the mall. I may or may not have made another purchase...it's bad and should probably be stopped for the sake of my finances, but I have come to the conclusion that this one, much like my shopping habit, can't be fixed. It's perfume. I'm obsessed with it. OBSESSED. I could have a different scent for every day of the week and still want more. To me, perfume is a magical elixer that comes in different tints and bottles with fascinating shapes. Potion-like, if you will. I buy it all. the. time. I WILL say that my parents get full blame for this; they are just as obsessive about fragrance as i am. I am thankful to have a male counterpart in my obsession. What's a friendship without one shared unhealthy obsession, right? One of the things that I enjoy about having him in my life is the fact that every time i even look at a perfume counter, MOST people will all but tackle me to get me away; he helps me rationalize why i need to buy yet another bottle. true friend. Sure, i'm out another $50 or $60, but I'll be the one that smells the best in the poor house...

Have a fabu weekend, dearies! I'll be back monday.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

it's only wednesday...

First, let me start by saying that i have literally had 3 cokes today and am still about to die. When i mentioned this to a rather sassy co-worker of mine, she replied with, "oh, um, like, you know that coke just gives you a sugar high right? then you just crash. like, it's making you more tired." Like, yeah. i know the stats. However, she obviously doesn't know that if i had an IV attached to me at all times with coke in it, I would be beyond content. some of my best friends never even liked coke until they met me, and now they're going to have just as many teeth problems as me. to be perfectly honest with you, i don't know why I'm not the "face of coke" yet. like, instead of Santa on the can at Christmas time, it could be me in a little santa hat...because i think that if coke was ever in a sales lull, i could single hand-edly pull them out. just saying.

Ok, so the "snooze" button was invented by the meanest person on the planet. And they covered their mean-ness with the idea that you could always get "5 more minutes" every morning. Um yeah, when you get "5 more minutes" 6 times, it's gone beyond the point of being beneficial to your good health. It just ends up causing one of two things; you are either late and beyond all hope OR it sends you into a frenzied panic. A panic that causes you to cut corners while getting ready (and, therefore, cause your co-workers to deal with it all day), get an elevated body temperature that won't go down until lunch, and sprint out the door, realizing halfway to work that you've forgotten your lunch on the counter. Welcome to my wednesday, folks. (let me say...I think a large part of my misfortune today has to do with the fact that my BRILLIANT brother- please note heavy sarcasm- and a few friends decided to have a jam session that STARTED at 10:30 last night. we share a wall. lucky me).

Another point of discussion: silk flowers. ok, I'm pretty sure that my office building has stock in them. Everywhere you turn in that place, BAM, a big silk fern. WHOAH, a larger-than-the-lunch-table bouquet of silk lillies. HEY, silk ivy overload. they're everywhere. It's like the black plauge...every day, more and more artificial plants are sweeping the office. The thing is, do people think that others that see these are going to think, "oooh, what beautiful ivy! I wonder how they got that to grow indoors?" I wish that i could gingerly say, "um, ma'am? hi, yeah, nobody in their right mind buys that these flowers are real." Seriously. they're bad. i'm allergic.

Last point; clothes that are too tight. Um, I know that it may LOOK like i want to see every detail of your undergarments, but i really, TRULY do not. I'm not saying wear a tablecloth but come on. get it together, people. leave something to the imagination, for goodness sakes. Just wear something that fits. the world will spin much more smoothly if you do. scouts honor.

Au revoir, lovelies.

Monday, June 21, 2010

My two emotional states: "tired" and "hot"

So. Tired. This is the worst case of the Monday's that I have ever experienced. And this may make me a bad person, but I usually also have the Tuesday's, Wednesday's, Thursday's AND Friday's... Just saying.

Enough on that; this weekend, i traveled to the quaint little town of Elizabethtown, Kentucky to sing with my parents. Other than being stuck in the back seat of a car for 3 hours (family bonding time, complete with stand-still traffic), it was a lot of fun. I sang soprano until my poor little vocal cords were ragged-which was about 5 or 6 measures in-and loved every minute of it.

In other news, work has been a real treat. There is a large international event coming up in a few weeks that has everyone running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. While I do get tickled on occasion watching everyone hop frantically about in a complete tissy, I have been doing my very best to stay on top of my intern-ly tasks and stay tucked in my cubical as much as possible. Today, however, I got shuffled around departments until i eventually ended up at a large conference table that was covered in envelopes and iteneraries...guess who got to put the iteneraries IN the envelopes? uh-huh. me (I was, however, slightly relieved to have something to do with my hands so that i wouldn't fall asleep on my desk and be asked to leave the premesis immediately). I'm sure that as the event closes in on everyone, my time will be filled with many more fun opportunities like the one today...can't wait..

Ok-i'm going to preface what i'm about to say by mentioning this; I am almost ALWAYS about to die of a heat stroke. I'm pretty sure that my body temperature is a solid 10-15 degrees warmer than that of a normal person. With that being said, i'm curious; exactly how necessary is it to raise the temperature in buildings AS the temperature rises outside? i'm sorry, but this goes against all logic in my mind. Now, i'm all about cutting energy costs and going green and hugging trees and all of that mess, but COME. ON. if it's hotter than 19 suns outside, it's in my professional opinion that the interior of buildings should be a blizzard. that goes for homes as well.. if i wanted to sleep in a sauna, i would renew my membership to the YMCA. Also; if i ever mention an outdoor party, cookout, wedding, etc. to be hosted OUTDOORS between the months of May and September, I give you complete permission to check me into the nearest mental institute, because i have probably lost my mind.

On that note, i hope that everyone has a fabulous evening!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Old maid, rules to live by, and proof that fashion isn't always fun...

It's happened. I have always had grandma-esque tendencies -- I'm a devout believer in the power of Ponds Cold Cream, Golden Girls is one of my top 5 favorite shows and I adore the smell of gardenias--but now that i'm a working girl, i am officially a full-fledged grandmother. After i got home yesterday afternoon, I changed into my pajamas, read a magazine and took a 2 hour nap. When i woke up, i ate a half of a watermelon (no joke) for dinner and went to bed. that's all i did. All evening. Embarrassing...

Next on my agenda; Summer fashion. it's my belief that, in order to have a sense of order in your life, some small degree of style is absolutely necessary. Agreed? ok, why in the world, when summer rolls around, does all sense of style that some people once had in the cooler months goes right out the window? Girls, I know that it's hotter than Satan's very own basement outside, but please. cover up. oh and a swimsuit is NOT an outfit. if you aren't at the beach or in a pool, the swimsuit stays HOME. and guys. come on. be classy. anything sleeveless or heavily printed with skulls and crossbones and studs? no thanks. come on, we aren't on the Jersey Shore. Not a fashionista? no worries, love doves. It's safe to say that if you look like you could be on the cover of GQ, J. Crew or Ralph Lauren, you're golden.

Story time: Today at work, I wore a black dress and some cute new black patent mary jane heels (with my hair down today, might I add). After i got heavily complimented by a very sweet lady that had on a button down shirt with teddy bears on it, I was assigned to the copy room. ok, SEE YA, MARY JANE HEELS. They will never be worn again. My feet may never forgive me. By the end of the day, I was walking at the pace of an old turtle. It took me 10 minutes to get from one end of the building to the other and i was convinced that it would take me a full hour to get from my cubical on the thrid floor to my car. flip flops are all i will be wearing for the next few days. fantastic.

Have a fabulous weekend, dearies! i'll be back monday.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

An oasis in the office, the art of teasing, and a b.a.d. hair day...

it's happened. i met my match at work. today, in passing, i found a woman that was sporting Christian Louboutin's. oh. my. gosh. in case ya'll don't know, Christian Louboutin's have been a goal/dream/life wish of mine for years. i felt like i had been wandering alone in a desert and suddenly stumbled upon an oasis, only instead of water, this oasis has a perfect red sole and black leather...dreamy.

On to the next topic; my hair. I typically can get my hair to do what i want it to. it's naturally wavy, so i have the option to wear it like that or, of course, i can straighten it. typically, my hair is good to me. I have also -after YEARS of failed attempts- learned the art of teasing my hair. Sure, it will all probably all be completely GONE by the time i'm 40 because of how damaging it is, but with the right comb, brush, and bottle of perfect hairspray (Aussie Instant Freeze, if you're curious), I can somewhat achieve the Brigitte Bardot thing that I'm aiming for. Except this morning. I got off to a slightly delayed start, so i made the executive deciscion to pull my hair back today... not usually my BEST look, but I was in a hurry, as i could NOT be late twice in one week. Ya'll...it's bad. Like i said, early 60's icon is what i usually go for. ok, today, i look like Norman Bates' mother in "Psycho."

ok, question...Is it just me or do you always get compliments when you wear stuff that you swore you would never wear again? because that always happens to me when i wear things that i pull out of the cold, drafty, cobbweb-y depths of my closet. For instance, today, I wore a top that i bought at an outlet a few years ago (I think the only reason i bought it was because it was literally 90% off). When i got home with it, i put it on again and was agahst when i looked in the mirror to see that i looked 12 months pregnant. I think this goes without saying, but it never saw life outside of my closet. Anyways, since i have been home from school, i am still living out of my suitcase and couldn't find ANYTHING to wear this morning. I resorted to the unflattering maternity-esque shirt only to be showered with compliments at work...so, i guess a big thanks goes to Max Azria, who usually makes great clothes. unfortunately, i got the short end of the stick on this one...i think maybe the pattern used was for a circus tent...

lastly, a quick anecdote; I brought my lunch in an old Louis Vuitton paper shopping bag today (it was either that or a Rite Aid plastic baggie...what was i supposed to do?) anyways, the commotion that people made over it when i got to the lunchroom was comical. they acted as if i had 10 servants following me with my lunch, fanning me with a palm branch, primping my make-up and fixing my hair...good times. oh, next time, i'm bringing the Rite Aid bag.

Stay tuned in, dearies.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

not cut out for this...

Yeah, less than one week in and I can already tell that staying awake during work is going to be a big problem. I just wasn't made for this 9-5 business... or in my case, 7:30-4. now, don't get me wrong; i LOVE to file paperwork and transfer data... However, I miss the life that i led before i became a legitimate member of the work force.

Everything has been relatively uneventful for the past 24 hours, especially considering the incredible morning i had on monday. I did, however, hear Dave Ramsey speak last night...and i basically fail at life because i am the world's worst money manager (please see title of blog). seriously though, you're reading a post by a girl that once told her parents that she needed money in her account for books for school.. in my world, that translates to "i need to buy this article of clothing." (SIDENOTE: i bought a dress and i think i put it on to wear to something and then changed before i even left the house) - sick and twisted, i know.. do they have legitimate therapy for people like myself? SURELY there are others out there in the same designer boat as me, crippled by the continuous urge to shop and buy fabulous clothes...

In other news, one thing that i have come to like about my new place of employment is the fact that people "ooh and aah" over my clothes and shoes...sure, that may sound vein, but when you have 2 fashionistas for best friends (one is the Carrie-esque risk taker, the other has the whole Upper-East-Sider-that-vacations-in-the-Hamptons thing going for her), you sometimes fall between the cracks. Needless to say, yesterday when I wore my multi-colored heels, it was like i wore shoes made of solid gold. and today..oh man..today, i wore sequins. A fun little black frock with shoulders covered in black, turquoise, and magenta sequins. um, it was like Santa Clause came into the office...i'm slightly a celebrity here. nbd.

on that note, have a fabulous rest of the day, dearies.

Monday, June 14, 2010

from bad to worse.

I tucked myself in round about 9:30 last night. I set my alarm for 6 a.m., preparing to wake up with ample time to get ready -I got new eyeshadow and wanted to make sure that my smokey eye was as flawless as possible- pack my lunch and then have a nice cup of coffee, and see myself off to a smooth start at 6:50. Mind you, work starts promptly at 7:30...

yeah, not so much. I rolled over, glanced at my phone and did 17 double-takes. the time read 8:08. after i audibly said, "you have got to be kidding me," i jumped out of bed and hopped all around my room for 15 seconds, flailing my arms around like a crazy person because i didn't even know where to start.

When my heart started beating again, i frantically called my boss, WHILE getting ready AND trying to make something out of the birds nest that was my hair (needless to say, the smokey eye was a no-go, seeing as my makeup bag didn't even see the light of day)..

When i finally got downstairs, I remembered that I had to pack a lunch. yeah right. I grabbed a gallon-sized ziplock bag, and threw in an easy mac and a diet coke. the lunch of champions, no? I then sprinted to our Keurig coffee pot -a gift from the Lord, might I add- and made a quick cup of coffee WHILE giving our senile poodle his medicine. After I grabbed everything i ran out the back door, down the concrete stairs...and slipped...although i'm relatively sure that my spine is forever damaged, I jumped up and bolted for my car. to hear the familiar ding of the low gas light...

ok. enough of that. i finally made it to work, where i rolled lapel pins into small strips of bubble wrap for 7. hours. straight. it was AWESOME... the good news is, i can probably roll sushi professionally now...

One highlight of my day was getting to read my work manual that discussed, in detail, the dress code for the office. I'd say that my favorite line was, "please, no extreme fashions." I guess my dream of dressing like Lady Gaga will have to wait...

sweet dreams, dearies.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

here we go.

Hello darling...s

My mom may or may not be the only person that will ever read my blog, but i'm adding the "s" onto darling just to be safe.. wouldn't want to leave anyone out. So, for those of you that don't know me, i'll give you a brief rundown. I love everything that has to do with fashion; clothes, shoes, handbags, accessories, make-up, hair...EVERYTHING.

since my days as a pitifully unfortunate looking little girl- freckles, bunny teeth and long red hair. that was permed. bad.- i have always looked at the beautiful, glossy pages of fashion magazines and dreamed of someday wearing the fabulous clothes that were sprawled across the pages. Unfortunately, as i grew older and my love for fashion flourished, my budget quickly dwindled. and by dwindled, of course, i mean completely disappeared. Sure, my parents were happy to get me anything that i needed, but they were quick to let me know that saving money is something that i would need to learn how to do and that it would be beneficial for my future.

so, while they gave/give me speeches about finance, my eyes glaze over and i slip into a beautiful daydream filled with Christian Louboutin's, Manolo Blahnik's and Vogue-worthy apparel that all takes place at the beauty counter at Saks. I smile and nod and make them seem that i have a deep concern for my financial state, and most of the time I can get away with it.

Some might say that I have a little bit of a problem... sure, ok, so i like to shop. some people like to dance, or -blech- run, or play golf or go fishing. Shopping and loving fashion are my hobbies. it's what i love. so, that being said, here we go...

Let's start by saying that with me and my lack of money, i have recently become relatively thrifty. don't be mistaken, i'm no penny pincher, but i have gotten BETTER at thrifting and changing up what i already have.. until i can finally go into a store and ask for one of everything. it will be glorious...

And finally, the most exciting part; MY WORK. ya'll aren't even ready for what is to come in the following weeks. picture it; me. working. i have my own cubicle and phone and computer and everything. i'm also the only intern for the entire company, so my days are spent hopping frantically from department to department trying to make sure that everyone is happy. i'm legit.

keep in touch, dearies. i'll be back tomorrow!